Tragedy at Black Order HQ
by Allen the Musician
Summary: Allen couldn't believe the carnage that he had bore witness to and he couldn't keep the coldness from seeping into his soul as he gazed around the room with wide, horrified gray eyes. How could this have happened? Comedy despite what the title suggests.


Disclaimer - I do not own D Gray Man

Tragedy at Black Order HQ

Allen couldn't believe the carnage that he had bore witness to on this day and he couldn't keep the coldness from seeping into his soul as he gazed around the room with wide, horrified gray eyes. This never should have happened. If only he had been able to see what was coming before it had reached this point. His knees were weak and shaking and he didn't know how much longer they would support his weight. Not long as it turned out. With a horrified scream, he fell to the floor.

"No!"

**FLASHBACK**

_The day started out ordinarily enough and, after returning from a routine mission to retrieve a piece of Innocence, the white haired Exorcist had made his way to the dining hall. He was absolutely starving and looking forward to Jerry's wonderful cooking. After all he had been away for several days and there was absolutely no one who could compare to Jerry when it came to culinary skill._

_After ordering a normal meal, which of course would appear shockingly large to anyone who didn't know him, Allen made his way to the table where he normally sat. Spreading out his meal, Allen placed his napkin in his lap and then picked up his spoon. He had greatly missed Jerry's cooking while he had been out on the mission and had every intention of taking full advantage of being back at Headquarters._

_Allen's concentration was focused completely on his meal which was the reason why he missed what happened next and was unable to stop the tragedy from unfolding. Had he only been aware of what was about to happen then maybe he could have done something to avert the impending disaster. Perhaps he could have stopped the tragedy. Completely bored and looking for something fun to do, Lavi entered the dining hall and a wide grin spread across his face as his searching gaze fell upon a dark haired Exorcist who was sitting alone at a table at the far end of the room._

_Yuu Kanda was sitting at his customary table and enjoying his customary meal, which consisted of soba noodles. He was pointedly ignoring all of the various Finders and Scientists who filled the room and they, in turn, were ignoring him. That was what kept the tenuous peace at Headquarters and everyone knew it._

_The peace that Lavi was intending to disrupt._

_The red haired Exorcist with the eye patch walked over to the table where Kanda was seated and, without invitation, sat down beside him. "Hey Yuu!" he exclaimed in a jovial voice._

_"Don't call me that you stupid rabbit!" Kanda snapped, having always hated being addressed by his first name. First names were reserved for friends and since he didn't particularly care for anyone in this room, he refused to allow any of them to use his first name._

_Which of course made Lavi want to use it all the more._

_"Come on Yuu," Lavi said, a smile spreading across his face. "You shouldn't be that way."_

_Forgetting that he was holding a pair of chopsticks Kanda clenched his hands into fists. The sounds of wood snapping echoed through the room and, with a scowl, the Japanese Exorcist glanced down at his broken eating utensils. Then his gaze shifted back to Lavi and his eyes held murderous intent._

_Lavi recognized the look, having received it a time or two already, and he got quickly to his feet. Holding up his hands the red haired Exorcist attempted to placate his friend. After all he had only been trying to have a civilized conversation. It wasn't his fault that Kanda had gotten mad and broken his chopsticks. "Come on Yuu. You're the one who broke them, so why get mad at me?"_

_In answer to this obviously stupid question Kanda got to his feet._

_Sensing trouble and realizing that he desperately needed a diversion, Lavi reached out and quickly grabbed a plate from the tray of a passing Finder. Then, once he had the plate securely in his hands, he promptly threw it across the room. The contents of the tray, which just so happened to be soba noodles, hit a Finder in the back of the head and the man quickly jumped to his feet. Gazing down at the noodles that now decorated his coat the Finder surveyed the room through narrowed eyes._

_And of course his gaze fell upon the one man in the room who was known for ALWAYS eating soba._

_Yuu Kanda._

_"Why you little..." the man growled an instant before he picked up his own bowl, which contained steaming hot vegetable soup, and hurled it across the room toward the smug looking samurai. _

_Of course his aim was a little off and the force of the throw didn't serve to carry the bowl's contents to it's intended target. This resulted in a Scientist getting splattered with soup, which understandably irritated the man. And that's how it all began._

_Someone, who's name was lost to the chaos, screamed out, "Food fight!"_

_Various dishes began to fly through the air and it was in this moment that Allen was jarred from his own meal and, to his complete and utter horror, realized what was happening. The room's occupants were throwing perfectly good food at one another and most of it was ending up in the floor._

_"NO!" the white haired Exorcist screamed, his eyes growing wide as the horror of the situation fully sank in._

_Lavi had taken shelter under the table by this time and one green eye could just barely be seen gazing out at the carnage that was unfolding in the dining hall. Carnage that he caused and was now hiding from. Hiding and plotting an escape route because he was well aware of the fact that the irritated Kanda was still in the room and more than likely plotting his murder at that very moment. And since dying wasn't part of his plans for the future, he needed to get away._

_'Stop!" Allen cried out as he watched the horror unfold. "Please stop!"_

_The cries of the young man fell upon deaf ears and the battle continued uninterrupted. Now everyone in the room, with the exception of Allen, Lavi and Kanda had been drawn into the fray and it seemed as though nothing would be able to stop them. That is until a very familiar looking robot entered the room, halting the battle and drawing all eyes toward it._

_"I am Sir Komlin the Fifth!"_

_"Run!" someone screamed out and the dining hall cleared within seconds._

_The only ones left were Allen, Lavi and Kanda._

_Kanda was standing near the wall, somehow having managed to dodge each and every dish that had been thrown at him. Lavi was just now emerging from the table, more afraid of Sir Komlin than he was of Kanda. And Allen, who had also escaped the battle unscathed, was gazing around with a horrified expression on his face._

_"Why?" he screamed, gripping the sides of his head with his hands. "Why?"_

**END FLASHBACK**

Allen desperately wanted to go back and change what had happened, wanted to prevent the untimely demise of so many tasty dishes, but there was nothing that could be done. The damage had already been done and there was nothing that he could do.

"Hey bean sprout," Lavi called out, cautiously walking across the room to the spot where Allen was kneeling on the floor. "Are you..."

Allen turned to Lavi and there was a steely look in his gray eyes. "This... is... all... your... fault..." the young man growled as he slowly got to his feet and turned to face Lavi.

"Wait Allen, I..."

Lavi didn't get the chance to finish this statement as Allen held up his left arm and called out, "Crown Clown Activate!"

Not wanting to wait around to find out exactly what Allen had in store for him Lavi took this opportunity to bolt for the door. Dodging around Sir Komlin the red haired Exorcist dashed out into the corridor screaming, "Someone save me please!"

Having been on her way to the dining hall Lenalee was forced to leap out of the way as Lavi rushed past, with Allen in hot pursuit. Now normally it was Allen and Kanda who wanted to kill one another and so this sight confused the young woman. A confused expression appeared in her violet eyes and she turned her questioning gaze to the next person to exit the room.

Kanda.

"Um excuse me Kanda," she said as she gazed at the Japanese Exorcist. "But can you tell me what happened?"

"The stupid rabbit started a childish food fight," Kanda said, his voice devoid of emotion as he recalled the events that had so recently unfolded in the dining hall. "And he traumatized the stupid bean sprout, who is now out for blood."

A/N - I don't really have any excuse for this one either but the idea popped into my head and I couldn't resist writing it. Hope that you enjoyed, please leave a review and tell me what you thought.

Lavi: I don't wanna die!  
The Musician: You really should have known better.  
Lavi: ?  
The Musician: No one comes between Allen and food.


End file.
